God Does the Impossible When All Seems Lost

Before you skim through this post looking for some announcement…PLEASE STOP. Even though God grants pink-foot miracles and can give us the desires of our hearts in extraordinary ways, this is not one of those stories. Instead, I want to share with you the miracle God has done in my heart through His Spirit, which leaves me in awe of his goodness and mercy.

As you know, Prince Charlie and I struggled for many years to have children. About a year ago, we realised that it might not be God’s plan for us to be parents, and so the grieving process began. As another Mother’s Day approached with empty arms surrounded by pregnant bellies and gender reveals, I knew I could not go through life like this, worshipping motherhood instead of Jesus Christ. I did not want to be sad, desperate and jealous. The bitterness in my heart threatened to smother me, but I had no idea how to stop feeling this way. Yet I also knew that I could not change my heart on my own. What was impossible for me was possible for God (Matthew 19:26).

Kneeling before my Saviour, I begged him to change my bitter, jealous heart to one of rejoicing with other miracle moms. I wanted to celebrate new life without a pang of sadness. I wanted to cultivate the hearts of children around me without wishing for my own. I pleaded and wrestled with God, studied His Word and obeyed when He asked me to act in ways that were too hard for me, but not for Him (Jeremiah 32:17).

Only by my Father’s grace could I plan a baby shower in my own home. Only by His strength could I become a Sunday School teacher, which I swore I would never do. With each new birth and each new child’s embrace, my hard heart began to melt. To my own amazement I could bow before my King as his servant, accepting his will (Luke 1:38). At long last I knew what Job meant when he declared “I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you; therefore I despise myself, and repent in dust and ashes” (Job 42:5-6).

I’m no Pollyanna. There are times when I still struggle and moments of dull pangs to the heart, but I can pray and rejoice because God is not finished working in my heart. I am blessed because he will fulfil what he has promised (Luke 1:45). To be clear, God did not promise me a child like he did for Sarah (Genesis 18) and Hannah. His promise to all believers is much greater.

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.

Philippians 1:6

Why am I sharing my dark sin struggles with you? Friend, if you find yourself in a season of “not yet” or God has answered “no” to your deepest desires, I want to encourage you. Your heart can change even if your circumstances don’t. We must remember that we are the children of a perfect Father. Pouting as obstinate, spoiled brats will not change His mind if He knows what we desire is not good for us. This is great news! No matter how many angry tantrums you throw, if you’re honest with yourself, you don’t want God to deliver you over to your sinful temptations if it will harm your soul in the long run.

How do you begin this change? If you are in Christ, you can come to Him in prayer and ask him to open your eyes to your sin struggle. What is the idol of your heart? What do you desire that you can’t have, or what do you have that you don’t desire? Tim Keller calls these idols our “if onlys”. If only I had a child. If only I were married. If only I didn’t have to worry about money etc. etc. These are the desires we think will bring us fulfilment apart from Jesus. We are called to put these evil desires and covetousness to death (Colossians 3:5) and to “put on the new self which is renewed in the knowledge after the image of its creator” (Colossians 3:10)

You can only grow in the knowledge of Christ through his Word – whether by hearing, studying or being counselled in Scripture. Search scripture for passages that pertain to your struggle and ask God to help you change. He might demand more of you than you think you can manage, but the Holy Spirit, our Helper, will give you the strength you need to overcome any temptation (1 Corinthians 10:13).

If your sin grieves you and you truly want to grow in the image of Christ, who died to pay for these sins, this will become the pattern of your life: repent, review, renew, repeat.

Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.

Philippians 2:12

There will be days of victory, but there will also be days of dark disappointment. Nowhere on the spectrum between these two are you ever left to your own devices. You can hold fast to the blessing Paul gave to the Thessalonians:

Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.

1 Thessalonians 5:23–24

Do you need encouragement in the middle of despair about unmet expectations? Let me know in the comments or send me a private message to lynette@nettiesconfetti.com. I can’t wait to hear from you.

If you’ve ever doubted your worth as you compare your reality with your unmet expectations, remember the only Person whose opinion matters is your Creator and Saviour.

“The only thing that matters now is everything You think of me
In You I find my worth, in You I find my identity
Ooh-oh

You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
And you say I am held when I am falling short
When I don’t belong, oh You say I am Yours” – You Say by Lauren Daigle